The Royal Scam...

THE ROYAL SCAM

And they wandered in
From the city of St. John
Without a dime
Wearing coats that shined
Both red and green
Colors from their sunny island
From their boats of iron
They looked upon the promised land
Where surely life was sweet
On the rising tide
To New York City
Did they ride into the street

See the glory
Of the royal scam

They are hounded down
To the bottom of a bad town
Amid the ruins
Where they learn to fear
An angry race of fallen kings
Their dark companions
While the memory of
Their southern sky was clouded by
A savage winter
Every patron saint
Hung on the wall, shared the room
With twenty sinners

See the glory
Of the royal scam

By the blackened wall
He does it all
He thinks he's died and gone to heaven
Now the tale is told
By the old man back home
He reads the letter
How they are paid in gold
Just to babble in the back room
All night and waste their time
And they wandered in
From the city of St. John without a dime

See the glory
Of the royal scam

All songs by Walter Becker and Donald Fagen.© Lyrics Reprinted by Permission. All Rights Reserved.

The Royal Scam...

"My name is Bob & I'm a recovering Programmer..."

"HELLO, BOB!"

"I first programmed in 1968.."

GASP!

'My math teacher in high school, Joe Kane, had a Time Share hookup to Brown University."

"NOOOO! Not the unholy Time Sharing Option!"

"Yes. I had an accoustic modem coupler..."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Anyway, I dropped out of engineering school after freshman year. Hitchhiked to Florida. Went to work at Disney in Orlando..."

"In IT?"

"No. Thank all the gods they were hiring for KITCHEN HELP..."

"Praise Shiva. You go, Bobby..."

"I had had a couple summer jobs working in Connecticut, doing things like dishwasher, and some short order..."

"Yes! Short Order is very very VERY good. "

"Anyway. I stayed there 90 days, got fired for being late twice, and ended up at HOJO's, starting on the day after Christmas, 1971.."

"Being late is a very, very, VERY serious offense. Lucky for you it DOES have a statute of limitations. But Bob, believe me when I say to you: late means dead here at Megabytes, LLP, LLC, FYJ, UYA..."

"So. Then I moved to Punta Gorda, Florida. I had married my wife, and she wanted to move closer to her family..."

"Bob, that is inexcusable. Again, this was in your obviously troubled youth. We have "psych" doctors that will administer the injections you will need for this trauma..."

"For getting married?"

"No no NO, Bob. For MOVING. Once Megabytes, LLP, LLC, FYJ, UYA, decides the "best fit" for you, using our patented "Cheese Mover/Detector/Selector", you must adhere to the paradigm shift. You MUST be a Total Team Player, otherwise we have no alternative but execution of your "programs". TTP is the mantra for the mid 21st century. Who are we to judge?"

"I'm not sure I understood a word you just said..."

"SECURITY!!! Take this "data element" away. Maybe a few hours on FLOOR SEVENTY SEVEN will straighten "Mr. Bob" out.

"But, isn't the 77th floor where they do the pod simulations?? All I said was..."

"ALL YOU SAID WAS THAT YOU DID NOT THINK PROPERLY REGARDING MY ANCESTRY!"

"But..."

"GUARDS! TAKE HIM AWAY."

++This was a work of fiction. RIGHT?